You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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