eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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