i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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