I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
