I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He felt like a one man threesome
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
