it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
