Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
