Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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