We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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