I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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