i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
