when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
