SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Did I show you my penis last night?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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