yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
