just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
