This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
