I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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