new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
