"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
