this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Never joke about your clitoris.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
