my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
