And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
