They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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