The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
