The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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