check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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