i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
