Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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