I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
