she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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