I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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