He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
