Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
