My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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