The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
