apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
