if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
