im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
