ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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