I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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