is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
