people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
