your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
