i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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