im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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