But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No more Irish car bombs ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
