She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
