I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
