How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
