the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
