My friends, they love my intelligence
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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